Live Rocky Horror Picture...no

Go on with your bad self.

I feel that I need to preface this by saying that I am a big fan of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I've karaoked the time warp, I've dressed up for the drive-ins, I've dreamt about one day growing up to be half as sexy and cool as Frank n furter...I love it. But none of this prepared me for the actual live performance rendition of it.

Yesterday, a few other liberal open-minded feminists and I set out in high hopes, stoked to sing along and be entertained by the 80's cult classic. To an extent we knew what we were getting into--a film about a transsexual transvestite from Transylvania is bound to turn a few heads, no matter how experienced you may be with today's exhibitionist sexual culture. And while I absolutely commend the actors, their dedication to the show, and their enthusiastic vigor with which they support the sexual revolution--I have to be honest and say I was also very disappointed.

At this point I think it's relevant to acknowledge my upbringing in influencing my attitudes towards this kind of fandom. Obviously, the fact that for most of my life I've been confined into a rather faithful obedient conservative Christian-Mormon mindset clearly limits the scope of my understanding about different forms of expression when it comes to sexuality. Nonetheless, I'd like to believe that through the years and experiences I've come out of my vanilla shell a little bit to appreciate different people's desires without necessarily having to adopt them as my own to prove my tolerance.

Which is exactly what I felt I had to do at the live Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I had a long conversation with the girls in the office the other day about "sex positivity" in terms of it's association with the feminist movement, what it's actual definition means, and what it's repercussions are. I won't go into a long review of that discussion, but basically the idea behind sex positivity is that you can let your freak flag fly in whichever way your wind is blowing--and to be given the freedom to talk about those desires and pursue them without being made to feel "dirty" or "wrong" or "unnatural." This is obviously a way watered down explanation, but I think it sums up the point I'm trying to make. A product of the sexual revolution, sex positivity opened up the space whereby movies like the great Rocky Horror Picture Show could be appreciated and immortalized.

LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIIIIIIN!!

I love sex-positivity. I think it's given a lot of people the courage to seek out otherwise manipulated information about their bodies, partners, and the sexual experience. Laci Green does a lot of cool youtube videos along these same lines, getting real about the nitty-gritty hard questions that are conveniently left out of sex-ed these days. They are really great for anyone looking to have honest conversations about your preferences and love yourself and your body. I highly recommend you check them out (...now). Most of all though, sex positivity is about being able to acknowledge that: hey, sex exists and lets not waste our lives pretending that one person has the answers and that one way of getting your groove on works for everyone. It's a sexual liberation.


It can also be taken way too far, which brings me back to Rocky Horror. Again, there's nothing wrong with this being a brand of sexuality. With gay/lesbian/bi/trans/queer being celebrated and explored and shown to the world as an honest representation of the human experience. It's not quite as extreme as my preference, but cool. Do you. The problem I do have with extreme forms of sexual positivity is that, in a world trying to be "cool" and "unique"--this can easily be adopted into the mainstream making rather moderate/other liberal people like myself feel...boring. Sooooo last year. So repressed.

 I'm sorry that I don't want to watch a half naked underage looking young boy bend over and be wipped by one of the Village People as another boy bites his ear and scratches on his chest while being welcomed into the theatre. I'm sorry I don't want to come up to the front of the stage, have a V be drawn on my forehead in red lipstick, and be ass fucked into submission by a complete stranger with only a thin covering of nylon between us before the opening credits have even begun. I'm sorry that I don't want to respond with every alternative idea to mine with a vehement "fuck you ass hole" yelled at a screen that can't talk back.

I'm sorry I'm so...frigid.

Sex positivity like anything else has it's fall-backs, something I was having a hard time articulating to my more radical liberal girlfriends in the office. The sexual revolution brought a lot more people interested in the feminist cause, but it also set a precedent for which kink (in my opinion) became kind of standard. The new way of staying sexy and rebellious--of staying powerful. Of staying relevant to the times. It didn't erase systems of conservative domination and pressure, it kind of adopted them to the opposite extreme. This Rocky Horror type of performance/culture is obviously a shock-and-awe extreme version of sex positivity that works for some people, but I would argue that things like this are setting a standard which influences our perceptions of feminists who are liberated, and the ones that are really liberated. And that I don't appreciate.

Walking out of that theater, I was having some pretty deep reservations about the adequacy of my own sex life. I started wondering to myself: does leaving my wips and chains out of the bedroom make me less sexually liberated? Does feeling awkward about being told to touch the genitals of the person standing next to me at the Show make me any less feminist?

I would say no. Sex positivity is about letting your freak flag fly, even when it may not actually be that...freaky, and not being made to feel bad about it. These days it can feel like a free-for-all with everyone trying to shove their shit and brand of sexuality in your face and convince you that the weirder, the better. But again, that's just one style. One way. Totes cool, but also equally fine if you don't want to. Respect the fact that it works for people and let them carry on. That's what's great about sex positivity done right. It lets you be honest with yourself and live outside the lines of convention and historical norms to discover what you like and who you are. It lets you say yes, but it also lets you say no.

So basically, you shouldn't feel like you have to turn in your liberal badge if you feel awkward at a live Rocky Horror Picture performance. It's alright, feminist points restored. Check Rocky Horror Picture show off your experiential check list, and move on. Not everyone can look as good as Tim Curtis in a pair of fish nets anyways.