Male Peacocking

So I'm sitting with my friends Matt and Jess on the NYC Subway, probably one of the better places to people watch in the safety of an air-conditioned space (in August, this is a godsend) and a man across the aisle from us catches our eye. Granted, this man would never be on the cover of GQ, but immediately he catches my eye as something to be desired, which Matt quickly confirms and we both know why. Without a second thought, Matt says "What would that man's beard equate to in breast size?"

I like me some beards, which shouldn't be a surprise to anyone who knows me well. But this wasn't always so--being one of the many girls who grew up in the 90's with fresh faced boy bands I was subconsciously bread to use them as the benchmark for the pinnacle of everything that was to be desired in a man. But then by about age 14 things started to change...basically, puberty. I distinctly remember we had this orchestra TA my sophomore year, Mr. Sokolik, who was the biggest jolliest looking man I'd ever seen. He was obviously going bald, but what he lacked on top he more than made up for with his gloriously full facial hair and, needless to say, I found it fascinating. Men can grow hair on their face, I thought, that's so badass. It was a weird kind of worship, the epitome of I-can't-do-that-so-therefore-its-cool envy (sorry Freud, you had the wrong kind of envy). Beard=man=good. For me, that was the beginning of my love affair. Ever since then, I've had a deep fondness in my heart (and parts ;)) for beards. It's just my preference. Only lately, it's not just my preference. Beard lovers are everywhere.

Work it, boy.

Which brings me back to the NYC Subway. As we began objectifying this man based on his beard length, fullness, and style with which he accentuated the beard (we gave him a solid C) it began to sink in what my friend Thomas asked me months ago after the hipster fad seemed to have pretty definitely claimed beard-love as their own.

Are beards the new form of male peacocking? 


The fact is, males over the past 30 years have become cultural sexual objects. While it still may not be to the level that women experience, the fact is men are being looked at as needing to be aesthetically pleasing--meaning that men are re-entering a level of consciousness about their own sex appeal and need to impress outside of the evolutionary biology traditional narratives we give men as being desirable only to the degree to which they can "provide." There are many opinions about whether or not this is a good or bad thing, which I'm not going to get into now, but the fact is that today men are being asked to step it up.

 #team USA  #conceited ass hole

And with this latest hipster fad, they are. They really are. In this whole shift towards a more trendy-backwards-hippy-natural-traditionalist youth culture we have right now, beards have become the way men establish their manliness and sex appeal in a pretty straightforward way. It's a way of embracing the obvious difference men and women, accentuating a trait that is all man--basically the definition of peacocking to a T. And men know it, and men proudly sporting facial hair have popped up all around the country--so much so that there is not only just a culture of obsession around them, but an actual economic market. There are fb groups, there is merchandise, there was a tv show, and there is even an entire month dedicated to mustache worship as well as international competitions dedicated towards the art of growing facial hair as a way of increasing ones sexy-factor. It's even become so popular that studies have been popping up proving the benefits of facial hair (yeah, science bitch!), not to mention lots of celebrities have started popping up sporting the unshaven look, setting a new standard for sexy. And ladies are taking notice.

While not all woman may love the full beard look, I don't know any who aren't at least a little turned on by a bit of 5 o'clock shadow. Whether it's biological or cultural, the fact is beards are having an impact on the way that men promote themselves as objects of lust and the standard by which some women determine their partners attractiveness. The fact that I can sit there as a woman and rate different men's desirability on a scale to which men have equated women based on another uncontrollable biological predisposition with breasts is an interesting turn of events and roles within the mating-game.

I'm not saying that the latest facial hair fad is here to stay, or that I completely reject men who don't grow facial hair, or that we need to perpetuate this cycle of domination with the objectification of the male body. But I will say facial hair is playing an interesting part in the mating game right now, and in terms of peacocking the one's who do grow facial hair definitely stick out to me in a crowd. Whether its the sexy scruffy look or full on homeless beard, nothing screams "look at me, I'm a man! Take me!" more than facial hair.

And frankly, I kinda like being impressed.