Reflections on the Journey of Prop 8

As an ex-Mormon who was on the opposite end of the 2008 Prop 8 controversy, it’s been quite a different journey this past week watching marriage equality being settled in the national courts. Having sat on the receiving end of those congregational announcements in Mormon chapels around the country with something leaning more towards ambivalence than outward hatred for homosexuality and DOMA, I was constantly told that it was a zero sum “us” versus “them” argument. And after years of being taught about the church’s early persecution and indoctrinated with this victimization complex, it was increasingly clear that this “affront” to the “traditional family unit” was very much a continuation of the religious intolerance the Church had experienced in its early inception. Therefore to remain neutral on the subject of Prop 8 to obviously not take your Mormon identity seriously enough, something which I think drove a lot of people out into the streets to prove their religiosity. 

Do I make you horny baby, do I?

However the larger publicized idea behind the Mormon’s push for Prop 8 was that allowing California to legalize same-sex marriage would set a precedent for the rest of the country. Allowing same-sex marriage to continue in California would only lead to a slippery slope wherein people could then begin to wed their beloved dogs, cats, and horses (obviously) and breaking down the foundation of the family as we know it (again, a drastic leap).


Supporters like Alan Ashton, grandson of former LDS President David O. McKay played a huge role in making sure the measure was passed in its final crucial hours of need with his million dollar donation while many other faithful members also actively committed their time and effort to the cause. My own family participated in drawing the hard-fastened battle lines between those of us who were prompted to feel religiously obligated to support the measure and those members of the family outside the church who fought quite openly with their voice and wallets to strike down the bigoted definition of marriage. Needless to say, it was a tense dinner table.

This all becomes hyper-relevant in light of the Supreme Court’s ruling that DOMA and Prop 8 are both unconstitutional, measures which were both heavily supported by the Mormon front. And while the Church has remained relatively silent as DOMA and Prop 8 worked their way up to the Supreme Court these past few weeks, they were quick to respond once the measures had been defeated. Within hours of the court’s ruling, official LDS spokesman Michael Otterson spoke out like many conservative defeatists saying that

“the Supreme Court has highlighted troubling questions about how our democratic and judicial system operates. Many Californians will wonder if there is something fundamentally wrong when their government will not defend or protect a popular vote that reflects the views of a majority of their citizens.” 

Because blaming legislature overtly ripe with homophobic discrimination on the “system” helps to lessen the blow of losing so much money on support, I guess. Human rights violations are obviously ok as long as the majority votes they are.

I say this because while California’s constitution has been disputed about all these years, many amazing progressive changes are happening all around the country. Currently 12 states and the District of Columbia have legalized same-sex marriage. And as someone who watched and supported the legalization of marriage in Washington State this past November I was shocked by the eerie silence as the Church took more of a backseat role in mobilizing the saints to public action.

And as I sat there in front of my ballot as a former California diaspora, hovering over the box for referendum 74 which would legalize marriage equality I couldn't help but think: “Did hetero-normative families around the rest of the country just not need as much “protecting? Where were the pulpit announcements now?” 

The point is, California’s influence had already taken hold—and many realized it was a losing battle and jumped ship, especially with the new generation of Mormons being raised in these changing times. I’m increasingly grateful that I was one of these youth able to break out of this intolerant mold and help bring about that cultural shift within the church in regards to homosexuality. Since 2008’s Prop 8 ruling and my own spiritual growth out and away from the church, it’s been bittersweet to watch the LDS faith’s stance shift so palpably from outward homophobic activism to one of tolerance, love and acceptance.

Sites like “Mormons and gays,” “Mormons Building Bridges” and the BYU “It Gets Better” campaign have highlighted the discrepancies between the scriptures admonishment to “love thy brother as thyself ” and the reality of implicitly supported cultural homophobia in the church. These steps are much needed and much appreciated by members who have both stayed and left the church, though they are still just a first step and far from being enough.

I mention these changes because the Mormon church and many other religious affiliates have gotten a lot of shit for their support of Prop 8, and as someone who is pro-gay marriage, I would say rightly so. They chose an extremely politically visible way to go about pushing their beliefs and lost--and there’s no way they can back-peddle now. But as an ex-Mormon (or "less active" as my family continues to label me as) who is still and probably will always be intimately connected to their weird religious roots, I think the shifts in attitudes towards gays in the LDS church are worth watching as legislation continues to pop up supporting same-sex marriage.

I know from personal experience (sitting on that fence) that there are a lot more religious moderates than liberals like to admit—and they are a great untapped resource in mobilizing for social equality movements. I don’t know—maybe I’m just an eternal romantic optimist that still likes to believe our generation was made for change, religious or not—but I truly believe working with people on both side of this divide is going to be the ticket for future sustainable change in marriage equality. And who knows—maybe those of us who decided not to hop ship will have the strength, voice, and power to endure and steer the LDS ship around as an ally for marriage equality.

Let’s just stay tuned after this new change of tide in the Supreme Court and not count the Mormons out just yet.